Researchers have looked at how caregivers might foster the development of emotional intelligence since it appears to be such a powerful predictor of success. To understand how emotional intelligence develops, they examined how parents respond to their children’s emotions. They discovered that parents react to their children’s emotions in one of four ways.

  1. Dismissive parents regard their children’s emotions as meaningless and strive to erase them fast, frequently through distraction.
  2. Disapproving parents see negative emotions are viewed as something to be eradicated, generally by punishment.
  3. Laissez-faire parents embrace all of their children’s feelings but fail to help them solve issues or set limits on proper conduct.
  4. Emotion coaching parents appreciate negative feelings, are not impatient with their children’s expression of them, and utilize emotional experiences to bond with their children by giving help through naming emotions and problem-solving the situation at hand.


Practicing the Five Steps to Emotion Coaching

Step 1: Keep an eye on your child’s emotions.

Emotion coaching parents are conscious of their feelings and attentive to their children’s emotions. They do not expect their child to exaggerate their emotional display for their feelings to be noticed.

Step 2: Consider emotions as a means of connecting and educating.

Emotions in children are neither an annoyance nor a task. They provide a chance to connect with your child and guide them through difficult emotions.

Step 3: Listen and validate the sentiments.

Give your whole attention to your youngster as you observe their emotional expression. Reflect what you hear back to your child, letting them know you understand what they’re seeing and feeling.

Step 4: Label their emotions.

After completely listening, assist your kid in developing an awareness of terminology for their emotional expression.

Step 5: Assist your child in problem-solving with boundaries.

All emotions are appropriate, but not all acts. Develop problem-solving abilities in your youngster to help him or her cope with emotions. Restrict your expression to appropriate acts. This includes assisting your child in setting objectives and devising strategies to achieve those goals.

Emotion coaching phases might be swift at times. Other times, these stages may take a long period. Patience is essential. If the problem is large, all five phases do not need to be performed in a single contact.


Article by

Rose .A. Milani,

Parent Coach and Registered Mental Health Counsellor

Based in Melbourne, Australia


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